Being pregnant after multiple losses...

-Every time I go the bathroom I think I will see blood on the toliet paper.
-I google every little symptom and compare each day..
-I check my boobs a million times a day to see if they are still sore
-you dread ultrasound appointments
-taking mulitple pregnancy test for weeks just to make me feel okay and having to check them throughout the day to make sure they are still positive
-you thank heavenly father every day for another day with your little one
-you get happy when you've made it further than you did with other losses
-your sentences begin with if this pregnancy last..
-you are afraid to buy something it might jinx the pregnancy
-you want to let yourself be so happy...but you can't
-having morning sickness makes you happy
-i want to scream that i'm pregnant, but i'm scared

sooo about 20 pregnancy test later, sore boobs, tired all the freaking time, nausea kicking in, and having to wake up to pee already...it looks like I'm knocked up again!!! And I am so so so so happy!

We found out about two weeks ago. I had just gotten home from being in Dallas. I took a test and I could see a very very faint line, but I didn't even have to hold it up to the light. I got Owen and put a big brother shirt on him. We went to say hi to daddy in our room, Chris was excited. But he couldn't really see the line. But about two days later he could really see it. It's now sooooo dark I don't have to take anymore test!!

I'm about 5 weeks and 4 days I'm thinking. I know my body pretty well...and pretty sure I know exactly when the baby danced occurred. We go next week...on Tuesday at 9 am for an ultrasound. I've tried to stay calm and positive and not freak out and worry!!! Very hard to do!!

I prayed and I know a lot of people have for this little rainbow sprout. Chris and I have been trying for a few months. It's been full of ups and downs. I didn't even really think we would be able to get pregnant with all the medications Chris is on. I know all babies are a miracle, but sprout really really is one!

I'm so in love with our little rainbow sprout. I've already started planning out everything!!!!!! This little one will be due on Christmas Eve! Such a true Christmas miracle. I can't wait to hold our child. My heart is exploding with so much love.

Owen will lift my shirt and say hi baby!

We are so in love with you little one. We loved you before you were even created. Just keep on growing and growing. Daddy, Mommy, and Owen can't wait to kiss you all over!! You are my child, and I will forever love you.

I can't wait t

I stuggle a lot...a lot of days. Chris and I both want more children. It's a great desire for us. This is hard. Some days I'm okay and I'm happy. But other days I cry. Every month you get to try and then you wait to see if you are pregnant and that week comes and it's heartbreaking. Then you start over with hope. Sometimes I just want to give up. But I have so much for love for these children I hope for. In the past it's been so easy to get pregnant. That's our problem we get pregnant too easy and can't carry them for to long. But long enough to fall so in love. But now we have a new battle...Chris is on a lot of medicines that may cause infetelity problems. So we must try and try. I can't give up. I have hope for my children. I know that somehow we will be blessed with more children to raise here on Earth. If I can not birth them...we will find a way.

Chris and I have decided that we are going to try for the next year to get our little rainbow sprout. We have a new challenge: Some of the medications Chris is on causes low sperm count! That's our new battle. We get pregnant very easily...that's our problem and I for some reason can't carry them. Ahhh I feel like I have issues!! But I'm going to have HOPE that we can do this! I know my family is not done. I know that I will have more children. My family is not done.

If we can't do it in the next year...then we will start the adoption process.

Prayers please! :)

Looking up...

The last week has been not so easy. I have to take progesterone right after I ovulate, which causes me to be dizzy. Then I start testing as soon as I can. I've gotten positives about a week after ovulation. I have to up my dosage of progesterone when I get a positive. It's all just so frustrating. I don't want to have to keep so close tabs on this. I start testing...and then I think I see something on Thursday...but you have to hold it up and study it a million times a day. I take test everyday and it's just not a fun game to play. My boobs get sore and I'm having cramping but no period...and if there is any line it's not getting darker...and I'm ready for this aunt flow to get here.

I want to have more children more than anything...but I can't let this control my life. I hate this part.