I stuggle a lot...a lot of days. Chris and I both want more children. It's a great desire for us. This is hard. Some days I'm okay and I'm happy. But other days I cry. Every month you get to try and then you wait to see if you are pregnant and that week comes and it's heartbreaking. Then you start over with hope. Sometimes I just want to give up. But I have so much for love for these children I hope for. In the past it's been so easy to get pregnant. That's our problem we get pregnant too easy and can't carry them for to long. But long enough to fall so in love. But now we have a new battle...Chris is on a lot of medicines that may cause infetelity problems. So we must try and try. I can't give up. I have hope for my children. I know that somehow we will be blessed with more children to raise here on Earth. If I can not birth them...we will find a way.