The past few months have been crazy, stressful, emotional, the hardest of my life, tears flowing, celebrating little steps....just I can't believe this is happening to us! A year ago I would've never guessed this is where we would be.
We were at my parent's for the month of August. I'm so thankful for their love and support and just being there. It's hard trying to do this all!! Chris has had two blood transfusions, about to have another one. He's been taking to the er by ambulance from passing out when we got home. He's still on the picc line and maybe only has two weeks left. He has had two loading dosage of the remicade. He has fallen while I was trying to get him to the bathroom and hit his eye on a fan. He's staying strong in the 140's...I passed him up. He has some days where he eats and others he takes two bites and he is full. He has a lot of pain in his colon. He is bleeding less and taking less trips to the bathroom. There's small improvments. But he's very weak and spends most of his days in bed watching tv.
This has been so hard. It's hard seeing your husband, your best friend not being able to enjoy life, all the small moments, and just being with his family. I try so hard to stay positive and help in anyway I can..but I have my days where I'm just a mess. This has been the hardest days. I love Chris so much. My heart breaks for him. I wish I could do more, be more for him.
I have to have more faith, hope, pray more...and believe that miracles do happen. I truly miss my husband.
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