Tomorrow will be two weeks since I found out our little sprout stopped growing. It's been a really long two weeks. Full of waiting, trying to grasp the idea that I will never hold this little one or watch them discover the world, trying to find some kind of hope, losing faith, being angry, finding love, and dealing with all the pregnancy symptoms. It hasn't been easy.
I'm ready for this to be done. I'm ready for the ugly part to be over with. I've never been at this place...knowing that I'm going to miscarry and still feeling so pregnant.
But I feel like it's about to happen. I feel like my body is about to explode. I had a little hope that maybe the doctors were wrong...but there is none now. I know that this is going to end. Our little one is already in heaven.
The hard part is about to happen. I don't want to say good-bye. I don't want to have to bury another little on in our special place in our yard.
I somehow feel that I will have another child. I really think I will birth another one...but if I can't...We will look into adoption. I want to have more children. Nothing brings me more happiness than being a Mommy. I love my Owen and my angels. I always wanted to be a mother...have a house full of laughter, screaming, joy...just everything. My heart has so much love to give...
I'm ready for the ugly part to be over...
I'm ready to move on...and try again. Heavenly Father help me.
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